Thoughts

I am so grateful for the birth of the Savior, for many reasons this Christmas season. I think it means more this year in light of the recent events. I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to look to Him for hope. To have the comfort of knowing He has felt the things I feel. To know that His life gives me peace.

Time continues on. There's no way to speed it up or slow it down. Somehow it's inevitable. I hope that next year I'll be able to look back and realize what a difference a year makes.

Family is wonderful. We had Christmas day with my whole family this year. It was so nice to have everybody home and happy. I love each of my siblings and the unique talents and personalities they bring to the family.

Daniel and I have a good marriage. We may not always see eye to eye, but we have fun learning, growing, and loving. I'm grateful for his companionship, love and support.

I'm looking forward to spring. I know it has only been winter for a week (technically), but I'm already looking forward to the buds on trees, flowers, and fresh air.

Now that Christmas is over, I'm ready for a new year. New goals. New opportunities. New experiences. 2009 was a good year. It had definite ups and downs, but I enjoyed the year. I have a feeling 2010 will be even better.

we need a little christmas right this very minute

I had to get that dreary post off the top of my blog, and what better to replace it with than some Christmas cheer. We got a tree a couple weeks ago, decorated it and love the ambiance it adds. The cats also love the taste of the water in the tree stand. I don't think they've touched the water in their bowl since we got the tree.

Below, you can see a picture of the advent calendar I made at the Super Saturday Activity back in November. It took a moderate amount of creativity, and it was a fun activity, so I would consider it a success. Also, about the homemade stockings: my parents made mine for my first Christmas, years ago, and I made Daniel one when we became a family. They're one of my favorite Christmas traditions.

Clearly our cats are feeling the Christmas Spirit. Probably more than I am, but that's just the way it is right now.

Wesley thinks he's the third wise man. You can actually see that there are only two wise men in this picture. The reason for that has to do with the cat knocking one of them off to make room for himself.

Coming up in holiday business:

• any day now the results of my on-line shopping should start arriving.
• Rachel and Nathan are coming home from college tomorrow night!
  
• we're making gingerbread houses with Daniel's family and my family on Monday evening.
• the upcoming Christmas Eve party with the Brinkerhoff clan
• Christmas break from work. December 24th-January 4th. Can't wait!
  

One of the things they never tell you...

...about a miscarriage is how puffy your eyes get. Day after day. Another is how hopelessly depressing it is, and how nothing anybody says makes it even the slightest bit better.

I try not to be too negative on this blog, but this post is a downer. Much like my weekend was. Thanksgiving was good, but it went down hill that night, getting progressively worse and worse. I tried to keep on with life, hoping for the best, but by Sunday, my hopes were shattered, and Monday was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day. I'm taking comfort in the love of family, and the hope of the future.

In my search for spiritual comfort and healing, I found a talk that was exactly what I was looking for. It's called "Finding Joy in Life" by Richard G Scott.

"The Lord is intent on your personal growth and development. That progress is accelerated when you willingly allow Him to lead you through every growth experience you encounter, whether initially it be to your individual liking or not. When you trust in the Lord, when you are willing to let your heart and your mind be centered in His will, when you ask to be led by the Spirit to do His will, you are assured of the greatest happiness along the way and the most fulfilling attainment from this mortal experience. If you question everything you are asked to do, or dig in your heels at every unpleasant challenge, you make it harder for the Lord to bless you."

I fully admit to having my heels dug deep. I wanted that baby. And I wanted it in June. I don't want to re-do an entire first trimester. I don't want to be afraid of getting pregnant again. But if this is what the Lord has decided will make me happiest. I'll try to be willing.

"Sadness, disappointment, and severe challenge are events in life, not life itself...No matter how difficult something you or a loved one faces, it should not take over your life and be the center of all your interest. Challenges are growth experiences, temporary scenes to be played out on the background of a pleasant life. "

As upset as I feel, I do have a pleasant life. Things will still be pleasant, and in time I'll feel happiness again. I'm grateful for the knowledge of this truth about happiness. It helps.