I try not to be too negative on this blog, but this post is a downer. Much like my weekend was. Thanksgiving was good, but it went down hill that night, getting progressively worse and worse. I tried to keep on with life, hoping for the best, but by Sunday, my hopes were shattered, and Monday was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day. I'm taking comfort in the love of family, and the hope of the future.
In my search for spiritual comfort and healing, I found a talk that was exactly what I was looking for. It's called "Finding Joy in Life" by Richard G Scott.
"The Lord is intent on your personal growth and development. That progress is accelerated when you willingly allow Him to lead you through every growth experience you encounter, whether initially it be to your individual liking or not. When you trust in the Lord, when you are willing to let your heart and your mind be centered in His will, when you ask to be led by the Spirit to do His will, you are assured of the greatest happiness along the way and the most fulfilling attainment from this mortal experience. If you question everything you are asked to do, or dig in your heels at every unpleasant challenge, you make it harder for the Lord to bless you."
I fully admit to having my heels dug deep. I wanted that baby. And I wanted it in June. I don't want to re-do an entire first trimester. I don't want to be afraid of getting pregnant again. But if this is what the Lord has decided will make me happiest. I'll try to be willing.
"Sadness, disappointment, and severe challenge are events in life, not life itself...No matter how difficult something you or a loved one faces, it should not take over your life and be the center of all your interest. Challenges are growth experiences, temporary scenes to be played out on the background of a pleasant life. "
As upset as I feel, I do have a pleasant life. Things will still be pleasant, and in time I'll feel happiness again. I'm grateful for the knowledge of this truth about happiness. It helps.
9 comments:
Alicia,
I ache for you in reading this post. I am so sorry that you had to experience the heartbreak of a miscarriage. I understand all too well what you are going through. We tried to get pregnant for a while and then I miscarried at 6 weeks (this was before Madelyn). I cried for many days. When I thought it was getting better, something would set me off and I'd cry again. However, I can promise you that it does get better in time. I know how hard it is to change those plans for when you thought you'd have a baby. What I learned, though, is that there is a plan for you and it is in the Lord's hands. I found a lot of comfort in the many priesthood blessings I received through that process. It is a loss, and don't feel bad about treating it as such. Give yourself time, and you will find comfort. If you need someone to talk to, I'm always here, but I understand if you aren't ready to talk.
I'm am so sorry for you Alicia. I don't know what to say to comfort you. I do know that someday soon you will be a fabulous mother and Danial will be an awesome father.
I know I've had at least one miscarriage since I had Lindsay. I was talking to Jeff's mom about it after it happened. She told me that about 6 months before she conceived Jeff, she had a miscarriage. She was devastated. She was in the second trimester. The doctor told her that the fetus was not in good shape and wouldn't have lived pass birth if it was carried to term. When she had Jeff, she knew completely that he was the same baby that tried to come before. The body just wasn't the right one for him.
I don't know if that will help you at all, it did me.
If I could, I would give you a big hug and a chocolate treat of some kind.
Hi Alicia,
I didn't know you'd lost the baby. I'm so sorry. It's such a hard thing to go through. I'm thinking of you--if there is anything I can do for you, let me know.
Jenni
I am so sorry to hear this news, Alicia. Only time and the Lord can heal this kind of hurt. You have such a way with words and reading this post took me back to the feelings I experienced with both of my miscarriages. It is never easy to experience such a loss. But you have the right attitude and looking to the Lord and His words are the best remedy. Thank you for sharing pieces of your testimony with us. Happiness will return to you as it did over time to me as well.
Alicia, I am so sad and so sorry for you. I realize that no one but you can know just how you feel. But please know that there are so many people who love you and would carry at least part of this burden for you if it was possible. I'm so happy that you were able to find the article by Elder Scott. Heavenly Father really does know the things we need, doesn't he? You are a sweet and gentle person and I know that you will be a wonderful mother one day.
I'm so sorry. I know from experience that there is nothing anyone can say that will make things better. Do not lose hope...things have a way of working out. Good luck.
It is hard to know what to say, other than I am so sorry. I can't say I know how you feel, but I'm sure it must be very hard. JUST know that we love you and pray for you!
I don't have any wise words to offer but I can say that you are a strong woman with a great testimony who will be a mother to wonderful children. I know that much! We love you!
Alicia and Daniel, I am so sorry to hear this news...
I love you guys, and if there's anything at all I can do to help bring comfort, smiles, or any combination please ask!
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