A few months ago I started keeping a pregnancy journal updating it with my own thoughts/feelings experiences as I was pregnant with Hannah. It's formatted as letters to her (someday years from now, she'll enjoy reading them). It seemed fitting to add her birth story there. I started it when she was first born, but as I've learned, mothering comes before documenting...so it has been written slowly in a few spare minutes over the last few days. I've copied it here, for those that are interested.
Dear Hannah,
Today we finally got to meet. I want to first say how much I love you, even though we've only been together such a short time.
On Sunday evening we were playing games with my parents and Kevin like we usually do, and we ended the night looking at baby pictures of me. It made me so excited to meet you. That night, when your dad and I were in bed, I prayed that you would come quickly, maybe even that very morning. We had had such a good weekend, just the two of us once more, that we felt super ready to welcome you to our home and family.
At 12:54 on November 1st, I woke with a pop and a sudden gush of warm fluid. The first thing I said was 'Daniel, we're having a baby in the next 24 hours...my water just broke'. I then wandered around our apartment gathering last minute supplies we'd need at the hospital. The contractions started almost instantly and were coming hard and fast. On the way to the hospital they were about two minutes apart, and I was really uncomfortable. Since it was after regular hours, we had to park by the emergency room and walk all the way through the hospital. We had to stop several times so I could breathe through the contractions. Once we got to the family birth center, I sat down to do some check-in paperwork (which seemed to take forever, even though I was already pre-registered). As soon as we were done with the paperwork, I stood up and there was an even bigger gush that soaked through my pad, pants and even my shoes. I apologized, feeling bad I'd leaked all over the floor, but I'm sure they get that quite regularly.
Since I was clearly in labor (the wet pants made it pretty obvious) we got to skip the initial exam, and went straight to a labor and delivery room. I changed into the hospital gown and then they checked and I was already dilated to a five. This was probably only 45 minutes after my water broke, so I knew we were making progress fast!
Your dad was so great during labor, he held my hand and helped me remember my breathing techniques, and reassured me we were doing well. They checked my cervix again after another hour or so and I was between a seven and an eight. At this point, I was pretty miserable and asked for an epidural. They had told me earlier that the anesthesiologist was in an emergency c-section so I'd have to wait an hour to get one. After that hour, they said it might be another half an hour, and I got a little worried. Thankfully it came more quickly than that. It was the completely right decision for me. It allowed me to get a little break from the pain, and also make it through the next two and a half hours. After the epidural things slowed down just a little, and we were at a ten and ready to push around 4:00 in the morning. I spent the next two hours pushing and pushing. I got so tired we had to take a break for a while.
During the half an hour break, I was able to rest up and prepare to continue pushing. The epidural didn't numb my legs completely and I was still able to feel the contractions, so it really enabled me to push effectively without as much pain. It was perfect. After spending about an hour getting you past my pubic bone, things began to happen fast. They got the warming table ready and called in your nurse. When they told me it looked like you had at least an inch of hair, I wasn't really surprised, but it made me so excited to think about how close we were. Once we got your head pushed out, your body came right after and they called out 5:58 and placed you right on my stomach. You started crying really quickly and just looked up at me with your big eyes. In that moment, it was just you and I. The rest of the room was a bustle of activity, I remember hearing that you were still attached, and they asked me to push a couple more times. I followed instructions, but I was completely wrapped up with you. Sweet little you.
***
Now somehow, it's four days later. We've had lots of ups and downs with feeding and sleeping. You seem to be quite the night owl, enjoying meals every hour of the night instead of every two and a half like during the day. When you're eating you make the sweetest little squeaks and sighs, and when you're done, you make the most adorable faces. I know babies don't really smile at 4 days old, but some of your faces sure come close.
Hannah, I've never felt more love for anyone than I have since having you. Your dad and I are completely in love. We sit and watch you for hours, completely fascinated with all that you are! I've never seen your dad so happy. He's the best new daddy around. Even though we've had a couple struggles with feeding, It's so rewarding being able to know that I'm supporting you. As your mom, it's my job to provide what you need, and I am so willing. I will do everything I can to make sure you're healthy and happy. Hannah, I love you so much already, and I'll love you forever!
Love,
Mom.
