Thankful

If you're tired of reading thankful posts, you should probably skip this one, because it's about as thankful as it gets.


Today I'm thankful more than ever for so many things.  At the top of my list is my family.  I'm so thankful for Daniel and our sweet little baby Hannah. I'm thankful for the baby spit on my shirts, the sleep deprivation, the messy diapers, the sweet little smiles while she's sleeping, her happy sighs after feedings, I'm thankful for all of it. 

A year ago, on Thanksgiving I began miscarrying my first pregnancy.  It was a devastating thing for me.  I felt abandoned, hopeless, and miserable.  Life carried on as usual but it took me a long time to feel happy again.  I would get home from work after holding back tears all day long, get in the shower and cry. Eventually time passed and I felt better each day, but I never forgot the sorrow I felt.

Now, a year later, I have a healthy, beautiful little baby girl.  I'm so grateful for Hannah, I can sincerely say she's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Each day I feel like more of my selfishness is stripped away, and I become more of a mother, and more the kind of person I should be. 

Of course I'm not grateful for the miscarriage, but I am grateful for the perspective it has given me.  It made me look at pregnancy as a blessing.  I enjoyed being pregnant with Hannah.  I remember being thankful for the nausea because it meant things were going well, and each kick was reassuring.  It has also made me endlessly thankful for Hannah. I feel so blessed to have a healthy baby that's thriving.  I'm so grateful that that trial turned into a growth experience.  

Looking back over the last year, I'm grateful for the growing and stretching I've done, both physically and spiritually.  It has all lead me to this point, where I now sit with a sleepy little girl on my chest.  So on this day of Thanksgiving, where we all pause to think about what we're most thankful for, I'm truly thankful for my family, and the growing we've done to get here.